Yesterday was a hard day. I don’t like to write about my friends, I like to write about my experiences. I had a bad day – and I’m sorry for taking that out on certain individuals. You are not given a bad life or a good life – you are given a life. It is your choice to make of it what you wish. So, I’m going to try this again.
I feel like I have no friends. I feel like I’m never anybody’s first choice (except for husband). I feel like I am the person that people go to when they have nothing else to do. I feel like I don’t have any real friends left here in Saginaw.
Now that I’ve gotten that out – I’m done with the pity party.
I’m going to look at this as an opportunity. This is an opportunity for me to grow. I have more time to focus on myself as a person. There are a few things in particular that I want to work on. My health, my sleep habits, and my sensitivity.
I want to work on my health, because I feel like that is a party of my life that makes me unhappy. I feel very out of shape, and my petite body can’t handle it. I signed up for a 5k, so I’m running everyday. I am waiting for my herbal cleanse to come in the mail. I am also lifting a little bit of weights. My herbal cleanse recommends no alcohol, so no drinking and I’m also going to eat only home cooked meals. I’m going to start with doing this just for the herbal cleanse, but also working it into my everyday life. I want to make a lifestyle change, not just temporary.
I want to work on my sleeping habits because I am serious the devil when I sleep. I am going to set a sleep schedule. I know I won’t always be able to follow it, but I can try! Right now I have one, and it’s out of control. One of our dogs ate husband’s eye glasses so he has been having to go potty more frequently as he is passing them. Last night husband woke me up to take them out and I swear I turned into a demon. I was furious. But why? It was 10 minutes, and I fell right back asleep. I felt bad. Like why would I be mean to him? It’s not his fault that our dog eats everything he can get his mouth on. Not to mention, husband has to wake up two hours before me. This doesn’t happen when I’m awake – just if I’m sleeping. I wake up super grumpy too. I am blessed to be alive everyday! I’m setting a sleep schedule in hopes of improving my nasty attitude when I drag myself out of bed.
I also want to work on my sensitivity. I know that I am a sensitive girl. I will never argue that, but I am developing into an overly sensitive human. I was fighting back tears at work because my boss asked me to do something different. I was pissed at husband for something he posted on facebook. What he wrote wasn’t anything bad, or wrong. It just wasn’t what I wanted him to write. I have turned into a monster. A “it’s my way or no way”, and it needs to stop. So that’s what I’m working on too 🙂 I’m going to work on this by trying to recognize why I’m upset, before I get to a point where I’m crying. When I feel that I am getting upset, I am going to ask myself – Is this hurting me? Is this unreasonable? Is this worth getting upset over? I am going to focus on only things that matter.
That’s what’s happening! Cheers to changes!